There will always be people in your life, rachel, who hold you back, who cost you too much, and who fail to see all you’ve done for them. But, of course, they’re just there to teach you that you do have time, that you’ll always be rich, and that your own high standards are all that matter.
You knew that,
The Universe
My wish for you, rachel, is that you succeed beyond your wildest imagination. That you find love in places that astound you. And that you have friends who call you “just because.” I dream that you go barefoot more than you wear shoes. That you play as hard as you work. And that you laugh more than you cry. I want you to set the bar high, but not too high. To reach for the stars, but with your toes on the ground. And to never, ever stop dreaming. But most of all, rachel, I wish for your happiness.
And these dreams of mine are what started it all.
Besos,
The Universe
Sometimes, the only thing you know for certain is what you don’t want. Yet often, rachel, that’s enough to go on.
10-4 Good buddy,
The Universe
Guess what? I just got a call from Kelly Clarkson and she told me that if one more person gives her shit about the way she looks, she’s gonna come wipe “Since You Been Gone” off every fucking iPod ever and THEN what are you gonna do, huh? The only reason your bitch ass is thin is because when your dude dumped you, you got yourself sixteen kinds of retarded on Sugar-Free Redbull and Vodka and then danced around to that jam until you couldn’t feel your limbs anymore instead of planting your ass on a couch and hoovering pints of ice cream, so, you know, she did that for you and she’s not a crackhead or a snarky bitch and she’s not even on a reality show so, like, let a sista live, as they say. Christ.
Some things should just be done for the fun of it, rachel.
Not because they’re inexpensive, practical, organic, logical, fashionable, modest, brilliant, green, expected, proper, spiritual, thinning, fattening, prudent, or allergen-smoke-chemical free.
Please supersize me,
The Universe
